When a church becomes a gated community that’s when the devil has taken residency. My name is Darlene and I was a victim of childhood molestation. At the age of 53, I want to share my history of abuse when I married the junior pastor of my church. In the beginning, we had so much fun. But, when his mother, an evangelist, saw we were moving towards marriage, her horrible demeanor became worse. Everyone, including her son, knew she was abusive. She often displayed the physical and mental abusive behaviors at church. Each time, she had an outburst, the pastor always made excuses for her.
My future husband would often share the horrific stories of his mother’s wrath and, he felt once we were married that we would live happily ever after. Well it didn’t happen. Once we were married, he became physically and mentally abusive just like his mother for eight long years. I tried everything to make his mother love me. I stayed in the marriage because I thought prayer and my goodness would rub off on him. My husband had so many disguises it was hard for me to keep up. What people didn’t know was that he loved drugs more than God and our family. I couldn’t believe his behavior, I trusted him with all my secrets, as he did me. He knew my pain, why did he hurt me?
I turned to the minister of every church we attended and I was told the same thing, “You took a vow for better or worse, till death do you part. Keep praying for your husband.” But, God had other plans for me. I divorced the bum and the cult. I said cult because we worshipped in a gated facility, where whatever happened in the church stayed in the church. We were taught it was against the will God to call the authorities on another church member, because prayer changes things.
I realized the sexual assault I survived as a child had hindered my mental growth as an adult. I allowed the pain BECAUSE I was use to being hurt. I found healing through prayer and writing. Writing poetry and short stories took me on an adventure that provided hope for my future. I received closure when I was BLESSED to write a powerful fictional story that mirrors episodes of me and my daughter’s past. The generational curse was broken when God gave me something my mother didn’t have when I was molested – courage — and the courage I found, led me to file charges against my daughter’s molester. Even though we couldn’t get a conviction, we won spiritually.
When my book, What A Nice Guy!, hit Amazon, I was in tears with joy because I had WON! I had written a book exposing the devil. In addition, children will learn from my story. This past week, I have received so many tweets, Facebook messages and telephone calls from friends from my first church family. For over 35 years, I took it personally because I never received the respect I wanted from my former mother-in-law. My husband had shared parts of the dysfunction of his family. I knew his siblings were tortured from their past. His youngest brother was arrested and convicted for several sexual assaults at the age of sixteen. The other brother was a child molester as well as a homosexual infected with Aids. His brother was responsible for the death of his nephew whom he repeatedly sexually assaulted over the years. The sister left the family at an early age for a life of prostitution and drugs. She later gave birth to two boys whom my mother-in-law loved to torture. This lady never missed a church service and has preached many sermons! The reason why she hated me so much, I discovered from members of my old church, is that all those years I was married to her son she was having sex with each of her children and the children were having sex with one another. My husband never told me that incest was taking place in his home. This information made me sick to my stomach, but yet gave me closure. I’m grateful to God that he protected my child from the demonic spirit of incest. My story is one of many that occurred within that Pentecostal church and, possibly many other religions.
When stories of child molestation are discovered, in their ignorance, people blame God. The first lesson a Christian should learn in Bible school: God is love and he loves children. The devil wears many disguises. We must learn to unmask the child molester and take God out of the demonic behavior.
We live in a society, where teaching children “Good touch, Bad touch” is not good enough anymore. No one is exempt as far as I’m concern. Because the majority of the survivors I know were molested by family members or friends of the family. Parents, listen with your heart and observe what is not being said when a child’s behavior is different in the presence of someone he or she once adored. The purpose of writing my book was to educate parents, so that they teach their children my safety concept.
Be encouraged to view my youtube promo at ability46K or to buy my book on amazon.com to protect your children – What A Nice Guy! By Darlene L. Scott